Letting That Character Go

Okay, this one is for the gamer geeks... or the people who are curious about the way a gamer geek's mind works.

Or the people who THINK they're gamer geeks and need a serious re-evaluation of their gamer geek status... as well as, possibly, their lives.

I've been involved in the same ongoing Dungeons & Dragons campaign for the last six years.

...man, look at you all scatter.

For those who don't know, Dungeons & Dragons (or D&D) is a table-top role-playing game. What that means is, simply, a group of people sit around a table with some pens, some paper, and some dice. One of them, the Dungeon Master (DM) creates a story to tell -- sort of like a choose-your-own-adventure book -- and everyone else creates a character to play, who will live through the events of the story.

Imagine your favorite movie. The DM is the bad-guy, the supporting cast, and the world-shattering events... the players are the heroes.

The DM is Sauron, Saruman and an entire army of orcs... the players are the fellowship of the ring.

The DM is Darth Vader, the empire, and the ewoks... the players are Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie.

Make sense?

Okay.

I've been playing one of these games for six years.

It has been, at turns, the most riveting, mind-blowing, frustrating, emotionally draining, and creatively satisfying experience of my life, so far. In many ways, it has been like a marriage; albeit one of creative synergy. I imagine it must be like the writers room experience on a great TV show. Except, in this, we are the writers, the actors, the directors, and composers. Six people sitting around a table to tell a story together, feeding off each other's ideas and passion to create something singular and amazing. I have had the privilege of sitting along side five of the most talented writers and actors to never see screen or print.

Certain creative professionals often talk about those projects that will stick with them for the rest of their lives. The ones they felt lucky and blessed to have been a part of. Peter Jackson & Co. have the Lord of the Rings... Joss Whedon & Co. have Firefly... Simon Pegg & Co. have Spaced...

We have this. And we didn't even get paid for it.

The game is going to be ending soon. In a matter of months. Two of us are moving to another state (that'd be me and RC), two of us are getting married, and the DM is preparing to draw to a close the story he's been building in his head since he was a kid.

Our characters have been put through every dramatic wringer imaginable -- and if you'd ever doubt how much of a strain that can be on the player, imagine the work of every actor who's ever shed real, honest tears for the camera, just to make that fictional scene as real as possible. We can go through that every time we play, except the audience is only ourselves. We're not performing for the millions, we're performing for the six. Our reward is the creative charge, the inspiration, the knowledge that, as storytellers, we can give as good as we get.

I don't know that ANY gaming experience has ever been as intense as this one has been for us. There are times when I feel like we take it a little TOO seriously. We place too much weight on the outcome. We can fight and argue and offend each other while discussing the most insignificant of details. We've had screaming matches -- actual screaming matches -- about the exact wording of a rule. There have been tears shed over the outcome of a dice roll. There are times we've gone WAY beyond reason and far over the falls of depression, because this fictional universe was just a little too real for us.

Sometimes, we have to step back and remind ourselves that it really is just a game... that the level of unhappiness it can breed is often far outweighed by the joy we feel between spats. We remember that we love this thing. That we only fight because we care so much about the story and the characters.

Like I said, it's like a marriage.

And it's ending soon.

I've already said goodbye to one character -- yes, in this game, we have left the main characters behind to play entirely new ones, because you don't just follow Frodo and Sam all the way to Mordor... Aragorn and Gimli have to have their say too -- and the feeling is bittersweet. Like any writer would, I had to get inside this guy's head, get inside his heart, and figure out exactly what made him tick... and though I played him the LEAST amount of time, I still get that hollow feeling when I think about not playing him again.

His name was Caid. He was a musician, and during the game just prior to the one where his part in the story ended, he played, literally, the performance of his life.

One of the many things that makes our game special is the emphasis that's placed on music. The DM combs meticulously through his music collection to compile a list of songs that complement not only the characters, but the scenes, the themes, and the overall arch of the story. Each character has their own band (or bands) to act as their musical "voice", and during the game, the effect is often like living inside a movie with the perfect score. Our DM uses music the way an expert filmmaker would -- to touch the audience on a level that the action and dialogue can't. It makes the experience that much more rewarding.

For Caid's final performance, I was challenged to compile the list of the songs he would play. What I put together seemed to tell a story at the time, but it wasn't until after the game that I realized that, in their way, the songs actually told the story of Caid's life. It was a brief life, for reasons only five other people know.

This is the list of songs I've been sharing with you.

Hope you enjoy them.

And a special thanks to Dave Grohl and Tim Reynolds for giving Caid his voice.

The Good, The Bad, and the Unfortunate

To think, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't sure what I would write about for this week's blog...




For most of the week, my wife's parents have been away at a wedding in Las Vegas. Because we're awesome (well... really because SHE's awesome, and I'm a follower), we agreed to bird-sit for them while they're away. This consists of visiting the house once a day and making sure that their birds (two parrots and a cockatoo) get some attention (ie: someone to scream at with impunity) and have their water and food bowls restocked.

Today was to be the day they returned from their trip, so we were doing a last minute check on everything. My wife saw that their pool water was a little low, so she went out back to fill it up, and because that sounded way more rewarding than staying inside with the birdnoise, I followed. So, we're outside, and the door is left open behind us, and the birds start screaming. My initial thought was, "Maybe I should just close the screen door," but once the screams start echoing out into the neighborhood, I think, "Yeesh, maybe I should just close the main door."

So I do.

And the security lock slides into place.




Now the back door is locked. And the front door is locked and dead-bolted, because we came in through the garage door...




...which I closed as soon as we entered the house.




It's noon. RC is still getting over a bad back, and has no shoes on. The birds haven't been fed -- and, because we woke up late, neither have we. And her parents are coming back today... iiiiin about five hours.

We check windows, we check side doors; no good. We decide it's time to call a locksmith.

Now, I was a locksmith dispatcher for two years, and even wrote an article for a local apartment-owners magazine on what to do in JUST this situation. Sadly, that was so long ago that I can't really remember all of my own advice. Luckily, I shouldn't have to! Because I know tons of locksmiths! I can just call my old company and they'll be able to get us back into the house lickety split! Right?

Oh... yeah... except, then I remember how busy they could get over the weekend, and I realize we'll probably be waiting outside for at least an hour. So I just dial 411 and call the first company that's listed in our area.




And when nobody picks up there, I shrug, dial 411 again, and take down the SECOND name that comes up.




It takes about a half-hour for the locksmith to arrive, and when he does, he uses every single trick in the book... EVERY. SINGLE. TRICK... to try to get us for $125.

"Oh, you used to work in the industry? Okay, I'll give you discount. $110."

He tries to explain to me that over time, with the cost of gas and inflation, prices have gone up.

(DOUBLING what it used to cost? What is this, the comic industry?)

He tries to tell me that, because it's a deadbolt, it's much more difficult to pick.

(which is true, but an exaggeration, and never changes the price of a lockout unless you're dealing with a high security lock -- which this wasn't)

After I tell him thanks but no thanks and offer to just pay the service call,

(which is only fair, because that covers the time and gas getting out to us)

he finally... magnanimously... agrees to only charge us $100.

(which is still bullshit, but I'm impatient by now)


When he finally gets his picks in the lock, he rattles them around and puts on a concerted effort to show us just how difficult it is to pick a deadbolt. He even breaks a pick off in the lock, JUST to show us how difficult it is. And he's hoping that, with all the commotion, I won't notice that he's NOT PUTTING ANY PRESSURE ON THE TENSION WRENCH. AT ALL.

~*~*~*~

For those who don't know, there are two essential pieces to a lock-pick set. One is the pick itself.




The other is the tension wrench.




Without going into too much detail, while one hand is raking the keyhole with the pick, the other is supposed to keep constant pressure on the tension wrench. That way, when the lock finally pops, the barrel will turn before the pins fall back into place.




With no tension, you can rake the pins all you want, but you're not opening the lock.

~*~*~*~

"Oh, this lock is too old. I might have to drill."

I know these games. I had to deal with them for two years. I know locksmiths who are so charismatic that they can make you feel completely at ease paying $200 for two minutes of work, and leave you with a smile, a business card, and all the confidence in the world that you'll never call another locksmith again.

This guy was not that. This guy was not only bad at his job, he was bad at faking it.

In the end, I paid him the $45 service call ($10 more than what we charged four years ago, but whatever) and sent him on his way.

Then I called my old company.

"Hi, how much for a lockout today?"

"$65."




We wait another hour-and-a-half. When the guy shows up, we recognize each other. We exchange pleasantries. He sticks a dummy key in the lock, taps it with the end of a screw driver, and the door pops right open.

"You used to work for them."

"Yeah."

"And you're letting them charge you $65?"

"S'better than the alternative."

We shake hands, he drives away, and I feel monumentally stupid for not calling them in the first place.

And that was our day. We ate breakfast at 5:30 in the afternoon. It was Outback Steakhouse. We felt we'd earned it.

I'm gonna end this post with the lockout article I wrote back in 2006. I've updated it a little bit, and removed references to being a landlord, but otherwise, it's pretty much unchanged from its original publication. If you want a fun drinking game, try taking a shot every time you see a piece of my own advice I didn't follow...

~*~*~*~

"Dude. Where're my Keys..?"

After you've finished reading this piece, here's what I want you to do. Print it out, fold it up and put it in your wallet. Because, when you need this article, it will be locked inside the house, and you'll be outside, kicking yourself for not following the advice in the first paragraph.

Now that that’s out of the way… you‘re locked out. The first and most important step is to NOT PANIC. This sort of thing happens to the best of us and is no reason for anyone to lose their cool.

Second step, go try the obvious alternatives. Back door? Windows? If you've taken your home security seriously, these might be too secure to sneak back into. Good for you! (Now might be the time to start thinking about investing in a store-a-key box or something of the sort to keep outside so you don't get caught in the same predicament twice.)

If step two doesn't pan out, get your hands on a phone book and a telephone. Don't worry if you're standing at a pay-phone in a bathrobe and boxer shorts (what were you doing outside dressed like that, anyway?) and have no money on you; most locksmiths have an 800 number that costs nothing to dial. If you’re lucky enough to be locked out with your cell-phone, just dial 411 and ask for a locksmith in your area.

Whether the locked door is on a house, an apartment or an automobile, these tips should help guide you through your moment of need:

- The locksmith you choose should be licensed, bonded, and police-permitted. These are the legal requirements all locksmiths must meet before they are allowed to practice the trade (though some try to slip past them).

- When you speak to the locksmith, the first question you ask should be if they are local to your area. This doesn't necessarily mean they will have an office in your neck of the woods; most locksmiths venture far from their main office in the course of a day. This is how they get work. However, the proximity of the van to the location of the lockout can be the difference between a $55 charge and a $155 charge. (The time of day will also effect the price you're quoted. Later will usually mean more expensive, but keep your eyes open for the golden deal. It's out there!)

- Get at least three different quotes. Play them off of each other. Try to get the best deal you can. Remember, EVERYTHING IS NEGOTIABLE.

- Some locksmiths will ask you for a credit card number. This is a security measure to make sure you'll still be there when they arrive. If you don't feel comfortable giving out your information (or if that's locked inside as well, etc.), simply reassure them that your only option is to stay where you are and wait for them. If you've offered them every possible reassurance and they still want your credit card number, their van is probably nowhere near you and you should call another company anyway.

- Lastly, if this is an emergency (child locked inside, oven left on), please call the police or fire department. As much as a locksmith wants your business, they are not willing to accept responsibility for your house burning down just because they were caught in traffic.

If you follow these steps, you should find yourself safely inside your home (or car) and out of the cold in no time. Now, aren't you glad you followed the advice in the first paragraph?

~*~*~*~

Happy Easter.